Mummy, can we play indoors please?

Note: This post originally appeared on my old blog (now deleted for reasons explained here). But I decided it was worth reproducing it here just for the sheer naked HORROR of it. 

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Back in 2014 I'd been booked to do a spot at Museums Show-Off in London - an open mic event for people who either work in museums or have a connection to one. The idea is to get up on a stage in front of an audience and do a short comedic talk about the interesting things in your museum. I was  representing a popular virtual museum - BBC Radio 4's The Museum of Curiosity - which, at the time, I researched content and co-write scripts for. 

Museums Show-Off is a spin-off from Science Show-Off and both were the brainchild of comedian and science geek Dr Steve Cross. Steve acts as MC to the shows and, during this particular show, he shared some photos with the audience. I'd like now to share them with you. 

Let's start with these ...

Steve's talk was about children's playground equipment design and some of the worst he'd ever come across. Those first two images, for example, were on a housing estate in North London. Who designs stuff like this? As art, it's not even pleasant to look at. And what function do the pieces perform? Do you climb on them? Throw things at them? Have nightmares about them? 

But these weren't isolated instances ...

I realise that creating art is all about aesthetics - finding ways to stimulate feelings and sensations, positive or negative (the opposite, of course is anaesthetic - to dull them). But surely if you are designing play equipment for children, shouldn't it be a little less unwelcoming? 

And yet, if you google 'scary playground equipment' you'll discover, as I did, a whole exciting world of terrifying slides, revolting roundabouts and criminal climbing frames. Look!

This is, I realise, a very niche area of discussion but it does demonstrate the difference between art and design - design considers the end user. Although, as artists we SHOULD create the work that we want to create, we might have to compromise sometimes when considering who's going to see, climb on or slide down our work. 

After all, kiddie fun does not usually begin with shark-toothed dolphins with bleeding eyes, demon-haunted roundabouts and giant red monkeys that have been shot in the face. 

Unless you're a budding psychopath, that is.